this made me laugh today: go read it. "i has a sweet potato"
busy busy- thesis is in surgery as we speak with my supervisor- final comments and edits time. ive done all i can, and think its okay, not the best document ever to be written, bu it has my soul and my mental state so i have to give it some merit. off to drink beer, watch bands and fall over tomorrow. am so looking forward to a break and a lot of beeeeeeer. think it will be well great.

i think that endless staring at a computer screen, editing 190 pages of thesis is affecting my mental state and making me ever so slightly edgy, removed and slightly barking. good god, let it end soon, before i fall off a cliff.

i cant seem to function today. and there is so much to be done. but my brain is off, and i cant find the switch. think its best if i just crawl back to bed, and wake up and start all over again tomorrow instead.

slowly but surely

things are making more sense lately, thanks to progressive work, productivity and sound super friends who allow me to feel sane and normal again. thesis editing is winning slowly- I've managed to cut down word count impressively, so the thing is no longer as much of a monster as it was before. and best news of all, it will be done and finished by the end of the month. I'm too excited that that ultimate goal is finally a practical reality. planning on going to woodstock the weekend i finish, so i can dance to rock tunes, drink plenty beer and fall over lots without feeling guilty that i should be working. instead it will be in full celebration of the start of normal life again. call you say woop woop.

quotation

i too have a story to tell. once upon a time we were a family, my mother and father, my sister and i- not a happy family nor an unhappy one, but just a family that pootled along while children grew up and parents grew old. i remember a time when my sister and i loved each other, and my father and i loved each other. i was the little girl with plaited hair gripping a stripy cat, whose photo stands on the mantle piece... it is time, i think, to find out the whole story, and to tell it my own way. -Lewycka

fabulous weekend away meadering through the midlands ahead with lunch at an awesome restaurant and lounging on my farm, all done with superb company. think it will be just what i need to keep me smiling for this last month ahead of rush and stress and work and the make the world seem normal again. too excited. as a friend of mine said the other day: wet-your-pants like of excited. think it will continue the sstring of fabulous weekends that have been lately.
apologies for boring and randoms entries here lately. havent been thinking or writing properly lately, as too much of my life is spent staring at a computer screen working and stressing. it is not conducive to imaginative or creative thought, let alone fun. will improve on the up and up.

more rain.

I'm baffled. its mid November and it's still grey, pouring, cold, and now there's snow on the berg? jesus, what happened to summer? in this light, i laughed when reading my horoscope this morning. it amused me on this grey wet day.

They say, "It never rains, but it pours." That's not, strictly speaking, true. Sometimes, it just drizzles on and off for weeks. We tend to get used to that kind of thing, though. it is the droughts and floods that grab our attention. Powerful forces are being unleashed in your life now. They are rolling into your world wave after wave. you are pretty adaptable, but there is something here that even you don't know how to adapt to. what you need is a brainwave. a new idea. you are about to have one.

well we can only just bloody well hopes so. the thesis is complete, just editing which takes for fucking ever (the damp drizzle, that just pours on and on) and I'm hoping the thing I'm going to have to adapt to is life without it and having to work out what next from here. pretty, pretty please, say that's it. I'm not up for adapting and worrying now. just want the summer to start, and the heat to roll in. the vodka is chilling waiting for the appropriate summer down, sunshine session of drunken summer pool parties. I'm all ready for it, just waiting on the world now.

bright light burning at tunnel end

isn't it meant to be summer? the year is almost over and there has barely been any sunshine or real heat. on a semi sunny morning the other day, i made the massive mistake of leaping into the pool to cool off. my god. my dearest god. my skin nearly pealed off in absolute protest. i say this now, just as the sun decides to show, but in about ten minutes the cloud cover will win again, and we'll go back to normal. sigh. i think staring at a computer screen all day is enough to get you down, without grey weather and more fucking rain to contribute to it. summer holiday is almost here. just one more month, one more month.

on the up side, to counter this whinge-fest i call writing, the thesis is complete. done. fully written. all 188 pages of the fucker. the departmental requirements call for 25 to 35 000 words. i have 60 000. a problem me thinks? now its hacking and editing time. oh my favourite. at the moment it feels like I'm chopping off a limb every time i erase something or delete it as unnecessary detail. that thing has been written in my blood, and now i have to be cruel and brutal and hack it down to size. put it on diet. at least, its almost there. thank god. the champagne will be popping and celebrations ensuing shortly. woop woop! the light at the end of that fucking long tunnel is shining and sparkly and calling me forward. i don't actually know what I'm going to do with myself when this is done! its been pending for so long, I'm going to have to find my real life again. thats kak really, as i know exactly what to look forward to. couch sessions and catching up on movies, on reading harry potter and the 6 million other books waiting, being drunk often (all of this guilt free, with no regrets on time wasted that should be thesis time!). oh and maybe catching up on all the work I've put off this week to finish? oops, but at least for once i prioritized. sjoe its going to be busy, and yet so free. I'm floating slightly out of my chair with pensive excitement.

hell and the sun is still shining. maybe things are getting better, thanks to it being a Friday.