tough times in crazy camp

jesus its real, real fun when you finally start your long over-due, super anticipated christmas holidays- the first time to relax since thesis over, finally able to read harry potter, the days are sunny to lounge by the pool- and your OCD mother hasnt stopped cleaning or having people in to clean for her (gardener x2, domestic worker, carpet and furniture cleaners and need i carry on the list). yesterday, she even gave the pool lilos a clean and a scrub in the bath. jesus christ. can i repeat that? then the cherry on top is that she leaves the house to collect said clean things, take things to the dump, and other vitally important tasks, and i have to stay at home to supervise and watch the said hired help. wow, what a summer holiday fun relax time for us. its great after a fucking long and hard year, with teh house constantly surrounded by builders. sjoe i can bitch and moan, but really this is going a little far. and she's on leave? i dont believe the woman knows what to do with herself, if theres nothing to clean or do or work on. definition of a holiday?

so tired of rain. so dying to max out summer holiday fun time by the pool or lapping up beach time. but instead, here i sit, in front of my computer at the office, staring out of my window at the greyness and the rain. poooooooooh. its not fun. so much for me relaxing and getting some holiday time before i start the crazy packing and moving and working process that is looming closer and closer. damn you, weather.

its the first proper hazy, hot, blue and beautiful day of summer. finally. my god, its mid december already, and its only finally hitting us now. i've longed for it, and now thankfully all my whining has paid off. well, until tomorrow probably when it rains again. the huge pity is that i have to sit in front of my computer, working, watching this awesome sunny day through the window. not fun.

so it seems that the events and happenings must have gone sufficiently well, and something has looking out for me, as it all worked and has come true. off to new life i go. too large to get my head around in some way, and totally scary, but my god, its going to be pretty crazy and exciting.

ponders

"are you winning or losing? how can you possibly answer a question like that, when you dont even know what game you are playing- far less what the rule are. even if you were to be completely clear, theres a risk that, in declaring success or failure, you could be ignoring an invisible but essential factor. what today ticks all the right boxes, could, by tomorrow, have become inappropriate because of a change in circumstances. don't judge today. just trust, instead. its wiser by far."
easier said than done i tells you. stupid, but sense-making horoscope man.

its terrifying. the events that occur today have the potential to totally change my life. fingers crossed it goes well.