tired

had a long day- god I hate Christmas shopping too much to even explain. I haven't done any yet, and am getting really saddened and distressed by the people I speak to who have finished and wrapped and completed a symphony by the time I'm still realizing its Christmas and people need presents from me. God. And next week is going to be madness in the stores- one person was telling me that they've been Christmas shopping for around the last month; every time she went out to shop, she would buy one present for Christmas. My god, that's dedication to the slave god of Christmas shopping. Unfortunately for my family and friends I lack that serious streak of dedication- so they're all getting a hug instead. Better hey. Ha suckers.

God its been a bad day, too much stress and emotion. too many tears. its just strange living a life where you would do anything to be somewhere else. im completely removed from the daily interactions here. just longing and dreaming of snow and bear hugs. makes reality seem very far away.