aaaaaaaaah

the report is nearly done, the pressure relaxing; its over 13 megs big, and around 40 pages, and took me all night to get through- however there are two pesky, stupid end sections that are still longing and waiting for my expert touch and guidance to craft them into perfection. i thought i was going to die last night; the report had grown into a thing that was far bigger than i could ever imagine or even comprehend dealing with, especially not when my boss wants to read through it and gauge my performance this morning, oh in around 10 minutes time. despite all my valiant efforts, those last two awful bastards just refused to be part of the party; this means that i still have to continue with the finishing and writing today, working on roughly 4 hours of sleep.

this process has taught me some things, so fear not that i am unaffected or ignorant to the potential moral and social lessons of this experience.
1) procrastination gets you nowhere, but gives you massive stress, heart burn, nausea, headaches and several stress and anxiety attacks. these symptoms are not conducive to productive behaviour and certainly don't help to get the work done in any faster time.
2) that work gets you nowhere too. and that now i am thinking of not renewing my contract when it comes up for review in a month, but rather returning to the safe and wonderfully slow and predictable haven for full time student life, where i can attempt again to complete my thesis. my secret plan is that jon will be making a small fortune by then, and i can act as the dutiful housewife and sponge off my partner for awhile, while he earns the bacon; im sure he'll have no objections and will willing oblige me.

ive always had great ambition to be a housewife|| i'll always be by your side. (great song by cocorosie)