post halloween blues, pre christmas crap

hmm. this year was the first in ages that i havent dressed for halloween. and i even had a bright red curly long hair wig in the waiting. didnt do anything for it actually. didnt even have sweets for the poor dear little trick-or-treaters. had to give them smal plasstic toys in compensation. hell it beats the carrots, apples and five bucks ive got in past years. it kind of scares me that we've barely come through october alive, and the christmas decorations and shopping insanity pressure is up and running in full force. already i feel the stress of what to get people, what plans are, what options are the easiest, less stressful and least likely to make me insane; as so many many christmasses have in the past. theres something about fake cheery relatives all confined in one room with flashy lights and too much booze that affects me in a rather unpleasant way. im sounding bitter without meaning to; i truly love christmas, and have had many fantastic times over that strange festive season, just sometimes it gets too much. this year im hoping for just my immediate family chilling on the farm with nothing to do but eat, drink more, and row in endless circles around the dam complaining about the heat. there's nothing quite like a leaking boat and a drunk brother stranded in the middle of a dam to make you love christmas. what terrifies me about it all, is that it makes me realise just how little of the year is left, just how much work i have to get through before its over, and that oh yes, another year is over, and im still not sure how i got through it, and still feel like its january. its serious knuckle down work time; the aim to finish off my thesis by year end is looking more and more impossible the more the calendar flips past me. we can but try i hear. or hope. ha.