interesting read

so was giving a book "completing your thesis" by a dear friend, who is currently also in the same stuck, bored predicament of yet to complete, pending thesis. we are both getting there, really well actually, and have had numerous coffee and insanity sessions venting our frustrations, pains, hatreds etc. but alas there is still a little more work to be done on the beast. then its bonfire and get absolutely shitfaced time. rad. its proving to be good inspiration. but while reading the book the other day, to get some tips or further information about layout etc, i came upn this very interesting little section.

keeping up the motivation:
Almost every student writing a thesis goes through dips of depression, insecurity about the quality of the wiriting, anxiety about the thesis requirements and non-thesis related prolems that nevertheless impact on the thesis production. in the beginning of the process especially, you may still be trying to find your 'academic feet'. Indeed, at many stages of the thesis writing, you'll need to be reassured and motivated. It is easy for one's emerging academic self-confidence to be destroyed.

student responses to the thesis:

• enthusiasm (when??!)
• isolation
• boredom or loss of motivation:

if the work is proceeding as it should, you may lapse into a sense of the thesis being too predictable. alternatively, you may suffer from the 'getting nowehere' syndrome.

• frustration and anxiety
• pressure to finish (haha)
• seperation anxiety:

while some students cant wait to rid of the thesis, other close to the completion of the thsis suffer from seperation anxiety. often thsi manifests itself in your making numerous unwarranted and insignificant editorial changes, questioning the validity of your work, and wanting to incorporate additional readings.

its nearly done, just get there already.

pretty is..

youve got to love having older siblings.

this was in my inbox first thing this morning, just to ensure i had a good day at work. nice, real nice.

terror

the stitches are coming out today. dear god. im afraid. very afraid. it was one thing getting them in, the shock and the numerous injections helped to numb the pain, and made the whole experience pretty surreal actually. like it was happening to another person. now theres no shock, or adrealine, or pain killers. its just straight gonna be ouch. goddamn, goddamn. its like impending doom. or armageddon. or being run over by a steamroller.
you can see it coming, but are powerless to do anything to stop it or prevent it.
i dont like pain.

things are healing. still sore, still tricky, sometimes down right impossible to walk, without falling over, tripping, getting stitches bashed by dog's tail, and generally looking like an idiot. cripple life is strange but interesting, and my god do crutches hurt your arms. going to have withered leg, but massively buff shoulders once this is over. pretty. real pretty. just like the war wounds and battle scars that will come. rad.

real smart.

ouch. my leg hurts. the crutches are getting in the way, but my god is it more complicated without them. so clever. damn glass for leaping out at me.

let the fun begin

so the other parent is on route as we speak to the united states of america, joining the original parental, and thus the fun begins today. the fridge is stock with beer, and other fun supplies, and the first one has been cracked already. its only a week, but its always fun to have a large house to play in at ones own will. radical. it should be good times.

after all that grumble, i go to erase my spam mail, only to find this little gem... i have been laughing about it for the past 5 minutes, so felt it necessary to share. only in cyberspace i tells me.

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wow. the wonders of the internet. jesus its a special place ne!? i mean, are you kidding me?!

grumble.

i no longer wish to be at work. i have very limited enthuiasm for the thing as a whole in general, but for numerous reasons, if any at all, this week has been painful. the hours drag. the outstanding work never seems to reduce in volume, and my eyelids never seem to lighten in droopiness and awaken. its become a problem, one that has resulted with me getting into the office hours late, and bailing long before traditional home time, or the work has been completed. goddamn. something needs to alter and improve here, before i stop coming in altogether, ha.
i crave strange new places, holidays, beaches etc. not cold office, endless typing and computer screen staring, and an office mate who has the grossest sneeze in the world. bugger. and back to work we go.

you know things bode well, an dthe world returns to a nice fuzzy, warm place when you get this, while working late and being tired and ratty and all, from a special:
"here is a KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS for you"

its an instamatic giggle, blush, and happy.

new sights and sounds

i read this yesterday and liked it immensely, on saidthegramophone.com

"Moving is like a birthday in that it confronts one simultaneously with an end and a beginning. All that we bring from the old to the new - our books, our records, our friends and family - is a tether, tying us to ourselves; but at the same time, our new stomping ground promises a new us, the us who will have lived here in this as of yet unexplored place."

hmm

what do you do if you dislike your office mate? when the dude is just plain weird, talks way too loudly on the phone, burps on the odd occasion, talks about how great his life is, but never asks about yours, and basically runs the place, despite the fact that it’s a shared office?
goddamn.
this is the problem with coming back to work after a break. it aint fun. and I tend to be more bitter for a while. either that or will snap and call him an arsehole. like how I was madly gesturing for him to shut up on the phone just now, while I was trying to work.
I should write a book about how to win friends and influence people. I seem to be doing really well at it these days.

"looking up at the stars, i kow quite well that, for all they care, i can go to hell."
w h auden.

its been a great couple of days, with too many moments that i wanted to store in liquid form, in a little bottle next to my bed, so that when it seems too fantasy, or foreign, or the clouds are greyer than normal, i could just open it u, inhale a little of the magic, and get the same smile again. i like fantasty land; its a fun, and wonderful place. im happy to have lived there a while; its a good balance and foil to reality.