heart attack number 1

on my way into varsity this morning, i spotted one of the best parking spots about to be vacated. woop woop as parking is such a nightmare there these days, that often i don't even bother to try and end up turning around and working from home. so gladness and joy filled my heart when i was able to sidle up to the about-to-be-empty parking bay right by the main entrance, and wait for the guy to leave. as i was pulling into the parking site to align myself to park, i felt a nudge on the left back end of my car. jesus christ, i had over-steered the car, due to still present unfamiliarity with power steering, and had bumped the car next to me. i swear to god in zero.three seconds, my life flashed before my eyes, my heart stopped, my palms went sweaty and my brain froze. i could just see the future stress of explaining to daddy dearest how i had hurt my brand new little panda, writing a note on the car behind for fucking up their bumper and so on. i parked, lept out and went to inspect the other car first. the heart attack number two followed- there was a massive dent in the side of his car, major scrapes and dents by his lights, and on his bumper. JESUS i was going in super slowly and couldn't have wiped out the side of his car?!!?! shit. that's when brain freeze and panic went into overload. i ran to my car, luckily to find only superficial plastic scrapes just next to my tyre. SHIT. so it wasn't my fault that his car looked like that, it was a previous scrape, it wasn't me. it wasn't me. it was only superficial. it wasn't me. it wasn't serious. on inspection of his car again, you couldn't even see where my car had scraped- he must have done that ages ago, and thankfully i did nothing to further it or make it worse. my car has a few little black plastic scrapes from his bumper, but on scratching it they're already coming off, so things are looking better. i was in such a panic, i just bolted to my office, so i could dump my things, get a coffee and a cigarette and think about what just happened. christ almighty, it could have been bad to my car and his, and it could have been worse than it was, and it was all actually okay. things were going through my head way too fast, and i think i gave my poor little nerd office mate a large fright as i was so frizzled. but its okay now. 3 cups of coffee later, and two smoke breaks i think i'll be okay. now i just have to drive with EXTREME concentration, minimal steering and have to go home to scrape the black shit off my side before daddy spots it and comments. sjoe. all that just on my way to work this morning. christ whats the rest of the day going to hold for me?! I'm in constant fear that something else is going to happen, but that might just make the nerves worse, so I'm actively trying to calm myself down now. breathe, little one, breathe.
I'm off to visit a dear friend in hospital now- she's been laid up with malaria, so we're all a little worried now. fingers crossed she's on her way to recovery as we speak. hospitals make me scare and nervous- probably not the best place for me today, but we shall go and conquer our fears.