i fear i am becoming more socially awkward, isolated, and intolerant these days. maybe it has just been a rough patch? i admit im well stressed, over worked and underpaid which in general is not so good for one's demeanor, but it has certainly been noticeable. a general grump and out-of-place feeling i suppose is the best way to describe it. just a marginally pap feeling, that has becoming ever so slightly noticable and persistant. it has been only this week, but im finding im becoming increasingly intolerant, and removed. things are irritating me more than usual, things which at a intellectual level i should dismiss as silly, but try telling me that when it happens. not sure why, just that its there. i think i need some time out perhaps? a good break is in order; no party party kak fest, just work and lounge by the pool? either that or i need to try and remove the grump monster from my brain and the carrot thats growing in my arse. silly me. oh me, oh my.
perhaps its just the seemingly eternal wait for payday thats making me this anti social poo. i long for the swollen available balance, to buy things without having to ask for R40 for petrol to add to the fumes that my car runs on. a friend validated this stink when i explained it today over coffee. she said people have natural highs and lows, and she having just found her way out of said stink lately herself, thinks its perfectly normal for me to be on the down slope, and that it would get better from here. she was kind enough to say its fine to remove yourself form life for a while, only to find your feet and re-emerge again later. think? me thinks so. so i think a bow out for a short time is perhaps necessary, for me to banish grump master and grin again. either that or just a beer would do!