oooowww.

i have the left overs of a stomach bug to contend with at the moment. damn it isnt fun. i pretty much havent been able to eat much in the last 24 hours besides 2 pieces of toast- something which i dont enjoy much. and the cramps havent stopped which i thought they would. sniff. poor sad tummy.
on the happier side- my house was graced by the adsl fairy today: so i finally have the joy of constant internetting fun in the convenient environment of my own home. now all i need is to properly set up the wifi connection, and install my (hopefully soon bought, after pay day) airport card and i'll be grinning from ear to ear. such geek shit i know, but hell its good times now. just think of all the shit i can post on my blog at all hours of the day. ha.
i start work tomorrow. im not particularly looking forward to it, as it means reality has to hit, and i have loads of work to get through, and no proper relaxation time or holidaying. but hell im looking forward to that pay check. sigh. the thought of cash in my account (whose balance is currently sitting at 30 bucks) just makes me too giddy and excited to even properly think and all the blood drains away just imagining all the stuff i can buy from now on. woohoo happy times ahead, well once the cramping and pain has stop, and i can move further than 10 metres from the toilet.

sigh. today rocked.

so today was my last official day of freedom- all the days off from now on will be marked by severe guilt and anxiety that i haven't done enough work- but today was the last guilt free, no stress day (work in all its glory starts on Wednesday). We went off the beaten track to delvillewood, which runs near to shongweni dam; its the main train route to maritzburg and runs through the most amazing tunnels and hillside landscapes. A friend knew of a waterfall that he felt we all simply had to visit, and thus we embarked on some serious offroading (we were in an audi, and were staring with jealousy at other friends in a jeep), through scary disused tunnels through to this site. The waterfall is fantastic; its around a 100 metre drop which, when looking up from the bottom, looks an unreal drop. Rumor has it that a little girl was horse riding at the top, and was washed over the top- i wouldn't like to experience that drop. The traintracks ran right by the bottom of the waterfall pool, and so, as could be expected, we instantly turned into little kiddies and put all our available small change on the railway lines to see how thin and squashed they could turn out from being run over. The only factor i was really upset about (besides shanna and i almost being run down by a surprisingly quiet train) was the fact that i forgot my camera at home and so have no photos to show of this great site- the thing that pissed me off far more was the fact that everyone i was with had forgotten their cameras too.. Damn. After this we spent the rest of the afternoon lounging by the big dam, braai-ing, and doing very little else; i tell you, to turn the page of the newspaper was hard work. All in all a good day spent avoiding the A1 and doing as little as possible. I'd say a day well spent.
ps i love the picture- it has nothing to do with today- but we washed sally yesterday and she simply looked so out of place, miserable sitting (with as much dignity as she could muster) in the bath. She made me laugh- that miserable out of place look. Too priceless.

Summer days

what a great day. Woke up late after a rather fun and entertaining evening.. dammit i didn't realize when i mentioned that, that i would probably have to then go on to explain yesterday. hmm. Brief: drinks with friends, followed by rather weird SA band called "spoonfeedas" at gateway, where we were one of about the four other people there, and where i spent the whole evening trying to avoid being dragged on stage to sing by the lead singer, followed in turn by large, revoltingly disgusting, and yet fantastic junk food being ingested. All and all a regular evening on the town; some great photos were taken, which I'll get sometime soon. But on the real topic for discussion: today. it really wasn't anything special- we all just needed to get the fuck out of town to avoid the people and the loud noises that happen to be collecting around the A1 grand prix track. i can still hear them from my house, and its after 10pm for god sake. So the bluff beach was the best choice for the day) and yes i know that is saying much for durban these days, but to attempt to go any actually nearish town is absolutely insane and ridiculous and crazy and all those other things- again cause by the bane of my life, the A1. it turned out to be the most perfect day- the weather has been raining hard lately (with cold fronts dropping the temperatures to, oh my god, 19 degrees!) and yet today was no wind, perfect sunshine and baking heat all the way. We did nothing but wallow in our suncreamy sweat, swim occasionally in water that lara felt smelt like curry, and generally had a perfect day. it poured again this afternoon so we made it home just in time. So because the main race is tomorrow we're having a repeat session of leaving town again tomorrow- this time its to shongweni dam, for a change of scenery from the beach. Hopefully it will be as perfect as today. Otherwise I'm staying in bed all day reading (great new book by haruki murakami) with my ipod on to avoid the spectacle. Sigh. i suppose i should be patriotic and wish sa best of luck and all, but i simply cant be assed.

mother nature, that bitch

i fear: that this is my last and final update on my innocent baby spinach plants. i fear: their days are numbered as the truth of the matter is that there are only two little ones left; they haven't growth in about three weeks, in fact i think that they've actually decreased in size. i fear: that they are so small and embarrassed to be here, that they are progressively shrinking back into the ground. I'm highly depressed about this turn out of events- i thought i may be able to pretend for awhile that i had green fingers, or at least the slightest ability to be responsible for the growth and nurturing of a small and defenseless thing. dammit and i failed. i let them down. Oh well, at least they were a small trial run before i ever invest time and effort into having children, just yet. it has also cured me of this weird gardening need- i no longer desire to grow things, sow my seeds and reap the returns and all that shite. All i have left is my poor sad looking daisy. God help that thing. Ha.

and again, more crazies

shooooweeeee was last night an evening full of soo much dancing and celebrations. i love it that i can go to burn with 40 bucks and get very phisshed.. i was greatly helped by generous donations from kind and equally phisshed friends, but hell, drinks are still so outrageously cheap, its fantastic. i made up for not going to gym by dancing for approximately 90% of the time we were there for- which was from 10pm til 2.30 am.. So I'd say a decent portion of the evening. However despite this fun and madness, and seriously rad music, i did think i was going to pass out from the heat at several points in the evening: there is one small little single directional fan on the dancefloor, which has absolutely zero hope of challenging the serious contender on durban summer heat. It was crazy- i stopped hugging people i knew in fear of drowning in other people's/ my own sweat... Gross, i know, but unfortunately the reality of the evening. gwa charmingly got rid of that fear rather quickly by continually bear hugging me at his sweatest moments- a game i soon tired of! Otherwise it was great- there's nothing quite like an evening of great friends (particularly ones who are leaving, and ones who have just come home), cheap booze and good tunes. Sigh. Needless to say i did absolutely fuck all today to make up for an evening well spent. Something that rocked even more. There's also nothing like sleeping in, especially when you shouldn't be, on a rainy and cold day. Sigh. Fun times i tell you. Unfortunately which are going to end next week.. boohoo. Still wish i was a trust fund baby and lived off my inheritance. dammit i knew i missed my calling.

should i take bob martins?

so im seriously attempting to grow the hair- each day i sit and mediate and send encouraging thought waves to my hair "grow, grow".... he. havent shaved it since i returned from the transki- so this is close on a month's growth. woohoo.. i even tried to use product today: this weird stuff called fibre gel. hmm.. looked very suspicious so not sure if im gonna use it again. at least it made me look less like a puffy, fuzzy lightbulb!

well well

so this is the new look for the meantime... opinions on the layout? i like the simplicity of it- but there are a few things that are pissing me off, and that i dont know how to fix. for example: the daily lists on the side- i dont seem to be able to change the font, or to get the list buttons showing... they worked in the last template (nice little triangles showing each new entry), so why not here? i havent done anything to change the last coding, so why would it have a mind of its own and rebel against me?! damn this code stuff. so if anyone knows solutions to my seriously dire problems, and/ or has comment on the look, shout. i dont know about this whole thing- but hell at the moment, its shit loads better than the green.

i fear...

i dont think i can handle this green shit anymore- so think if its continuation of this blog, things have to change... im gonna go for a whole new look, as i fear if i look at the green again im gonna barf. so here goes...

last night

went for what i thought would be a few calm drinks at runt's last night- but once again those kids proved to me that they're crazy as all shit. loveable crazy, but downright mad none the less. the evening started after action soccer, with the parents away, and started on a positive note of a healthy combination of straight vodka mixed with amarula cream... needless to say it was an interesting start smelling of curdled milk and vomit, and this was only around 9.30 pm. all and all a fun evening was had by all- including candy with broken foot, hailey with glass in her foot, and runt with sprained ankle from soccer. the highlight came when sunlight liquid was thrown liberally all over the wooden flooring in the kitchen and all of us attempted to ice skate around. there were many a fall and bruised backs that must be aching this morning. all it did for me was want to look like this guy. if only we were as graceful.

huh

remind me why i do this again? getting kind of tired of the blog thing. kind of weird writing into space, with no specific audience at all. thinking its a little lame to carry on. oh well. night all.

Swim time

good god its hot today.. Been swimming and lounging by the pool all day- as i said im trying to get in as much holiday/ relax time as possible while i still can. Was rather funny though- my mum bought this new suncream- its by nivea- and it has gold "reflection particles" in it- a very weird thing which is meant to enhance your nature tan, and add to the glamorous look i was always going for. So basically this meant that i was sparkling like a princess, or something that sparkles lots, while tanning- a strange and yet rather cool experience i can assure you. It was rather funny to see my brother when he used it the other day- i can safely say that it should only be used by girls. To see a grown man of nearly 30 sparkling golden in the sunshine was amusing to say the least, and ever so slightly gay. The only problem is that once you are over the tanning/ swimming and generally being outside thing, and be smart and come indoors where there is the wonderful modern convenience of aircon, you are still sparkling like a cheap point road whore. dammit. All the glamour has totally gone, and now i fear i just look silly. Oh well all in the name of beauty apparently they tell us. Ha.

silly but fun none the less

went shopping for work clothes today- know its lame, but hell its kinda fun being able to look at stuff and work out whether i can wear it in a meeting environment and so on. ha. lame i know, but this is still all new to me- the serious work environment and all. was even thinking what stuff i should decorate my office with. im getting too lame for my own good! luckily i still have friends who will keep me in check when i'm rolling in the cash- some of us are getting together tonight, and i said i didnt have much cash to splurge.. to which the reply of one of them was, "you can make it all back, and spoil me when you're loaded!" ha. ha. is all i replied.

this is getting ridiculous

i seem to be tired too much of the time.. cant seem to do anything proper or constructive these days as i'm simply a zombie, dreaming of my bed and sleep time- and yet, when i lie down to sleep, ha that when its all engines go and my energy levels seem to jump through the roof. crazy. i was awake for nearly two hours this morning, between the wonderful and delightful hours of 4 and 6 am.. and my room doesnt have these modern day inventions called curtains. sigh. so as a consequence i couldnt do a thing today- wondered around a shopping centre for a while, with the sole purpose of exchanging a book i already had, for another that would be more interesting. i've taken to listening to my ipod in public these days, particularly in malls- it makes the shopping experience bearable and even moderately pleasant- anyway it toook me around an hour to find and purchase one book. im getting useless. and im terrified that im going to be like this at work- and still pretend to come home and work some more on the thesis. who am i kidding- can this impossible feat really be done?! unfortunately for me, it appears that only the good lord above has answers to problems such as these. looks like its back to the sleeping tablets for me. theres nothing in the world that cant be killed/ cured/ or resolved by prescription medication. god bless doctors and drug companies.

woooohooooo!

i have a job! i am now the proud participant of this thing better known as gainful employment! i know its probably going to suck, and the hours are never cool (i mean how do you get to lie by a pool all day, when youre meant to be at an office!?) but hell its hopefully going to be pretty challenging and it gives me a whole lots of cash to play with at the end of each month- although mr the tax man is going to take most of it away. woohooo so im a 9 to 5 working, material girl these days. no more studying for the betterment of myself and humanity.. well i do still need to finish off my thesis, but thats some shit background nagging issue we dont like to discuss much, like the painfully annoying aunt, or retarded cousin in your family.. come on you know what i mean. so i seriously need to abuse my last days of freedom- i only start on the first of feb. think i'll go and watch some more daytime tv. a tease i promise.

bored and tired

just got home from drinks with old friends.. the girls i used to work with at bookworms. now im absolutely exhausted. i think its the heat- i know i didnt sleep very well last night, but thats nothing new, however today i was so tired i could barely function, let alone work and be productive. damn january summer heat. i hate to think what im going to be like in a months time. terrible stuff i tell you. night all- my clean, fluffy double bed is calling my name- it'll be the first time in a month or so that i finally get to sleep in my own bed. ah bliss i tell you.

aaah

so full of food- just cooked up an entire storm.. of roast beef, potatoes, asparagras, salads of numerous sources etc... you get the point. needless to say im full, and tired now as a consequence. and i have a job interview tomorrow, well a call back as im on the short list now, but i fear i should get some sleep and stop drinking for that one hey. i hope it goes well as to have some cash finally would be a wonderful, wonderful thing. by the way- jarhead was great- really well shot, and really good film... go and see it. ive just remembered i have a date with my mother to see the harry potter film tomorrow- again. oh the joys and delights of my overly amazing life. woohoo. although despite me bitching, im actually rather happy these days, in my own quiet way.

holidaying in salt rock

just returned from a night at the strange, over developed and rather ugly salt rock experience- a friend is staying in a chalet there so we went to visit for the night and 'get out of durban'- it being only around a whole 30 minutes outside of town! didnt even get to swim in the sea, but it was a lovely evening none the less- i havent eaten that much in a while, oh say since friday night really. nice to just chill and relax in another environment that isnt home though. the complex they are staying is on a hill looking out onto the other hill: the salt/ chaka's rock area i remember as a kid had a few complexs and so on, but nothing extreme- now its crazy- the view from the flat we were in, was directly onto the equally overly developed and populated hill. the number of new complexs is crazy- and all totally ugly and bare looking. i had to laugh that they dont even look out onto the awesome view of the ocean right there, but rather on other fellow holiday makers. oh you have to love development and progress. off to see jarhead now- hope its good as im tired of sitting through shit movies. i'll fill you in on how it was a little later.

why apples dont grow on trees

cause they simply look too good in my house. so much of wholesome goodness. i felt like an ad campaign happened in my own study. had a headache all day again today- damn alcoholism that runs in my veins.

too full

just got back from megan's birthday party- happy happies meg! i love having other megs in my life! anyway was a great evening of chilling, and loads of drinking and eating- she even made home made sushi- which was the second time i ate sushi today- which in turn was the best thing ever. yay. im tired now though- its late here, just passed 3 and i just ate loads and neeeeeeeed some sleep. night all. sweet dreams
x

Finally- the journey of the toit pant

been meant to post this for ages- my trip down the coast for new year- but it seemed to take soo long to record, and only finally finished it all today. Sorry if it doesn't make any sense, but hell I usually don't. ...

This has been a long, interesting and mad last few days. Such a boring way to start but my head is sinking lower into my pillow as I write this in bed, that I think im going to have a nap, recuperate some more and write later.

never got to tell the story of the little teeny tiny pant (toit jeans have seen the country side)- well basically the shortened version was that we headed out of durbs for a road trip to the beautiful sea side of the transki, only to break down in kokstad and were forced to stay the night. The mechanic who worked on my car told us the camping site there had closed down, but that his boss had a very large garden we could camp in.. Needless to say we were terrified of this option (you should have seen the mechanic, so we were worried about the boss that would have hired him). Very lucky a friend of my aunts sorted us out with a free hotel room, and free dinner and breakfast at the weirdest hotel in the world- the mount curry inn, at the engen garage in kokstad, as she runs the restaurant cassandra's, which is conveniently placed next door, also at the engen stop. Very strange, but it was all for free so we reveled in the glow of free food and booze, and tottled off to bed on veeeery full tummy's and stoned minds. Needless to say it was an evening well spent. the next morning, after a refreshing (and did I mention again free) breakfast at cassandra's, we forked over a shit load of cash to ensure that the %$£@*&*$** landrover didn't break again (the tensioner had come loose- we all learnt a new word, as non of us had a clue what it was, and a new fan belt fitted-i now know the inner workings of a landy engine pretty well) and we were on our way again.We were headed for hole in the wall, but heard from friends already there that it sucked- lots ofTransvaal families and dogs and the works- it was actually described to me as "kinda like margate", so we screamed no, and ran- placed our bets on mdumbi instead, and headed in the general direction, banking on the boys who had already set up camp and were bonding real hard without us (it was Neil- shanna's man, and pret- neither of them had met before, so we had many entertaining laughs at their expense imagining them sitting around a fire staring at each other.."so nice weather hey") but boys bond so much faster than girls, so by the time we finally arrived, they were thick as thieves together.The dirt road to the backpackers felt like the longest road in the world, with many complaining girls in the back, bitching about sore asses and laughing out of sheer terror and tiredness every time we rounded a corner.Butt we finally arrived at this pretty, tiny little backpackers, set up camp, and made ourselves a happy home for the next couple of days- which were marked by the great arrival of more unexpected friends, plenty (and i mean serious plenty) of fresh and cheeeeeep mushroooms, loads of booze and laughter.The weather absolutely sucked- loads of cold wind and rain, but after that many substances in your system the world seems like a much happier place.Wee had one perfect day- the day before we left- found a perfect, slightly protected beach, with loads of rock pools and shells, and palm trees- it was the first day of pure sun, and despite the gale force winds it rocked. At one stage i was sitting under a tree in some shade, attempting to get out of the sun for awhile- it was perfect- chilling on shrooms, looking out at this beautiful beach, at all my crazy friends pottering around, all doing their own little thing, all so wrapped up in their own little worlds of rock pools, treasures and sea sand.Was awesome. we left the transki on the 31st to make it to rex's house for the main new year party- the trip back was at least not marked by break downs etc, but was fucking tiring non the less- over 7 hours straight driving, with barely a pit stop tends to do that to you. After such a chilled trip and seeing beautiful things in the transki, was a real mind flip to arrive in port shepstone to do some last minute shopping- seemed like the entire world had the same idea as us- god it was weird to be back in mainstream life again- felt instantly out of it. rex's rocked- loads of friends, old and new- plenty of drugs and crazy times: everytime i walked around, or pasted someone, all i heard was mad laughing and screaming coming from people, generally accompanied by "my god these are crazy shrooms!" Had my last ritualistic cigarette shared with shanna, before throwing it into the fire as our tribute to good bye smoking. A massive bonfire on the beach contributed to an awesome new year- that and plenty of champagne and laughing at mates streaking nakedly by screaming "happy new year" made it worth all the effort. Fell asleep on shay's shoulder, still around the fire on the beach at around 2, and knew that this year would be a good one. the next day we barely did anything, except lie on blankets under the trees and read, chat, eat and sleep. Was a perfect time. Needless to say i didn't want to ever leave as that meant that reality would hit and the normal life begins again. well that's that- was all in all a pretty great trip- full of ups and downs but hell that'ss life. And now its totally back to the mainstream, everyday, ordinary existence- still have to finish that report that's been calling my name for ages- started work on it last week and slowly getting there. Otherwise things seem to be going pretty well. Despite my aching tights from gym. Ha.

oh my

well i had to face the realities of my new years resolutions today- went back to gym in full force, and realised that its been a whole 9 days thus far that i havent smoked for !!! wooohooo! craziness. im really proud of myself. and hit the gym soo hard that im going to be crying tomorrow. but hell, dont those assholes always say that tomorrow is another day.. bwah they sont know the pain. still the problem is that it feels good and productive at the time. damiit conscience.

realised there werent enough photos

so i thought i would go overboard now that ive down loaded all of them, and bore my dear readers (i fear its only you jon! ha) by adding more cheese pictures. had to show you what i looked like in my new pressie- and send you some kisses and hugs. yes i am always a hungry hippo though. i have done nothing all day, except play here, and watch lame dvds and tv- awesome. its raining hard today so it was perfect timing for my planned lazy day. im smiling large. and my parents leave for cape town tomorrow, so im smiling even more.

one last one i just found

note just how happy my brother and i look when placed in close proximity to my family over the festive season. ha. thought it was the best photo.

belated christmas images

i liked the wise men the best- they had purpose in life- we could all learn much from them. ha. pure cheese smiles all the way.

ps

forgot to mention that we had so much food left over from this evenings dinner, that we're all getting together tomorrow for a picnic of left overs and scraps. crazy amounts of the best food. so tomorrow holds the potential to be just as good as today. hmm should really start to think of going back to gym sometime- the festive season weight is getting larger than i accounted for. oh well monday is another day. ha. here's to left overs!

so much of fooooooood

my god i have just eaten one of the best, most fulling and fantastic meals in ages- and ive eaten many lately, but this rocked. we had a bring and shae this evening at neils house- this beautiful place in carrington heights that is well high and over looks really pretty trees and valley. all of us brought soooo much food, and there were less than we had catered for, so the meal was plentiful to say the least. hmmmmm was lovely. and neil made this rad pudding of peaches, chilli brandy, cream and romany creams... interesting and delicious- a good combination. sigh. so now im incredibly, one could say disgustingly full, so hot i could puke (and thats from the weather and heat not the overeating) and my ass is getting sore fomr sitting still on the bathroom floor for so long while i type this. anyway yet another good day in paradise- did very little, read my new book, shoppped and cooked a little, and ate lots, and a little more than that. my kind of day entirely. wish you were here to share it.

tiredness

i was going to write a whole long funny story about today and the great thing we did yesterday, but im tired now- come home from drinks out and am buggered. so another time. ngiht all.

gimme summer

went for a long walk around mitchell and jameson parks this evening with shayna. it was one of those beautiful peaceful and calm evenings, where the weather is so hot that you cant help but stick to every item of your clothing despite wearing very, very little ones. when its overcast with a breeze, but the breeze is barely able to cool your skin, let alone lower your temperature enough to call yourself cold. in other words it was a great time to grab big rich icecreams and wander slowly through rose gardens and pretty flower beds gossiping. times like these make me love living in this town. the g&t's that followed these made it even better. sigh. gotta love the summer times.

oh just to let the concerned readers know- while i was away galavanting around the countryside my mother slyly pulled out some of the weaker spinach plants. i was heartbroken to realise the travasty but there are still a few survivors left in the wings. they arent looking half bad actually, so i still hold out some hope for the little fellas. perhaps one day, if they dream big enough, there is a bowl of salad or side serving of creamed spinach waiting for them. in the meantime they just simply look like lame little sickly plants in my veggie patch. not much to aspire to i suppose. perhaps i should try to talk to them- it may make them happier. perhaps i should also lay off the g&t's more too, but thats another story for another day. oh and totally dont like the red.

so much sleep time

didnt think that i could sleep so much- went out for dinner last night for a catch up chat with george last night- we were bored and hungry at robs- came home, threw worry and concern to the wind and totally passed out on my bed without even a fash wash or tooth brush.. revolting i know but the tiredness was almost all consuming. its ridiculous- and this was only around 11pm. i'm totally losing my hard core poity touch. anyway it is completely due to the tiredness and catching up on washing clothes and riviting activities such as these that i havent written anything interesting about the trip away. i am getting there i promise and will update all very soon. there were some funny times that need sharing- such as 8 year old children selling you the cheapest, largest mushrooms you've ever seen in your life! ha. all will be revealed soon. otherwise its a great day here- and im desperately trying to finish my book, before i have to start things like research and report writing again (at the end of the week- oh god no)... so the up dates will be done later. i think a change of colour for the new year may be a good thing- so for the meantime, red is the one- still deciding if its not too garish.

wowweeeeeeeeeee

so this is the new year, and i dont feel any different.
i cannot believe that we have entered the new year already- dammit its going to take me about three months just to get used to the fact that its now 2006, and not 5. agh. resistant to change i think these days.
anyway am exhausted from my mammoth road trip ive been on the last few days- hence no updates and terrible communication and so on- and am longing desperately for a long, hot shower and my own, comfy, squishy double bed, and clean clothes that dont smell of BO or woodsmoke. mmmmmmmm. the small things in life.
happiest new year. may this year bring only happies and good times.