sigh

so booked ticket yesterday and its home on saturday- still seems far away but feels weird as am getting totally used to this as my life- not that it exists somewhere else and this is only short term temporary. feels strange. i like this life, im getting used to it, its good, comfortable, acceptable, fun, where i want to be, etc. etc. means pushing harder for lining up jobs and all, and sorting my crap out at home so that im free to do it really. its all good, as also looking forward to home again, my old bed, swimming pools, not having to drive for hours to get somewhere; there are still perks. i suppose thats what feels strange at the moment, is the transitional feeling about this all. im not desperately wanting to leave or stay, kind of balanced feeling good about both or any option. feels nice not to be desperately planning to leave and run away- its a refreshing feeling different to past times.
im tired though, seems like i somehow never get enough sleep under my belt, but tis all good, just lots of coffee to get me through the day.

insanity

this city of ijozi sure is a crazy, fun, lunatic place. been working hard, playing harder, and already started my week off with an afternoon of awesome cheap second hand shopping and beer drinking on the grass- good start. interviews have started in full swing- feel rather awkward asking stupid questions, and rambling muchly but hell, hopefully this will all help with the research and thesis writing. if not, at least i would have got them out of the way, which is essential and prerequisite for thesis, and i can carry on working on my own again. awesome. back to work again. this fast paced lifestyle. need beer again me thinks. ha and shay arrives today. woohoo.

pharmacy

ive been incredibly tired these days- im researching like a warrior, and doing more exercise than i used to, but it still doesnt really explain the constant exhaustion- well to call it exhaustion is a little dramatic, but rather just tired- sore, gritty eyes, lack of energy or concentration levels etc etc. and its weird because the insomnia best friend that i love and know so well seems to have died down rather, so it would be logical that with all these healthy things in my life, i should be right and rain (never really understood that phrase) and tiptop (another rather stupid expression). so to counter it, or at least curb this ridiculousness my body has become accustomed to, ive begun to take lots of healthy additives in my diet- mainly vegetarian, 6 tons of vitamins and minerals every day (the whole alphabet seems to be involved along the line) and loads of fruit. you would think just the shock that im eating well and looking after myself, would force my body into overdrive and be unbelievable and hard core like, but no such luck it seems. so everyday i force feed myself millions of little colourful pills that seems to do nothing but change the colour of my pee to something scary. oh what a life i lead.
at least its house sitting fun this weekend, private johnnie walker party, seeing long lost friend from cape town, and a long drive to joburg all awaiting me. break from the usual mundane rock star existence im used to, but at least its scenery changes. in between all of that the work is simply piling up and is beginning to terrify me, as there's a hell of a lot to get through, and my interviews and field research start on monday. ha. fingers crossed. apparently if i just keep asking them why something happened, they'll talk for hours. we can only hope.

busynesses

strange story- yesterday the front street door to our propoerty was kicked in by baddies, armed, who wanted to pillage my property and damage my space. luckily a) i wasnt home, as think i would have fallen ever so slightly to pieces during their dramatic entry into my property and a broken door lying on the floor, needless to say the weaponry and b) that the world's greatest domestic worker, priscilla works at our house and screamed and swore at them, pushed the panic button and managed to chase them away. so all in all, it wasnt a bad story, it could have ended very differently, but still baffles me. it is just too surreal, in a funny/ not so funny kind of way to have people kicked down your door to break in. i am obviously behind the times and forgot that we are now in the wild west. who are you kidding. so the rest of the afternoon was spent shopping for new door, hinges etc, and watching the builders fit a new one. riviting i can tell that much. the problem is that i am generally home alone much of the time, and its rather unpleasant knowing that security has been breached yet again. what happened to home is one's sanctuary. tough luck.
leaving for joburg on sunday so have change of scenery will help feel more normal again. despite the six million hours of work i have to get through while there, and the potential employers and hard cores in the industries i have to talk to. builds character did i hear someone say? bugger off.

awesomeness

this morning i was woken up to an sms from MTN with CONGRATULATIONS in huge letters. it was delighted to inform me that with MTN you just keep winning, and that, lucky me, i had just won R2 worth of airtime this morning. woowwee im one hellova lucky lucky girl with the fates determinedly on my side. i mean, a whole R2. whatever would i have done without that. it shoulds that MTN sure is the best network and worth me spending absolute fortunes on in airtime that they constantly rip me off of. hmm. absolute bullshit. makes me start to question the joys of my network. thank god number transfers are in, its away we go.

flood time

this was durban city centre yesterday afternoon. and they predict more rain this whole weekend. thank god i is off to jozi by then. already have two interviews set up for next week for thesis research- im terrified as its all a little too real finally, but super excited as the first one is with a potential future employer. hold thumbs they like me.

instant klick

i really like this idea- polanoid is the largest online collection of polaroid photos from members all around the world. there's something special about the instant klick, and some of them show it.

i heart pretty things

oh deer. my deer. ha. i generally hate design wank-fests in the form of design blogs, but every now and again, to pick up new ideas, images, possible projects and inspiration etc etc, i waste precious hours of my time looking through a limited select few sites that sometimes have some pretty things; here are some of the things that made me smile today. i hate being a nice person; i know that is a ridiculous statement, but i do. i said i would do a favour for a hairdresser who needed a model for her exam, as she was serious stuck without one; i was stupid enough to say yes, and then preceeded to waste my entire fucking morning waiting for my turn which was meant to be 9.45, ended up being at 11.30 and i only got out of there at 12.45. kiiiiiiff. i then had to mad hare tear across town to make it to meeting with supervisor. i hate people. have to learn my major fault in life is that im too nice and HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO. now that i have that utterly useless rant off my chest, look at the pretty pictures and fuck off to do something more worth while with your time. love you all. happy weekend.

smiles

some good things:
*massively tasty mo's noodles for dinner with several bottles of wine, and the same (just different restaurant) the night before
*meeting with supervisor tomorrow, and feel prepared, excited and know he is happy with my work thus far
*having the slow enjoyment of the beginning of long warm summer evenings
*trashing all the old music i no longer listen to, to make space for new and great stuff. new music always makes me smile.

unreal

can you believe this site actually exists. i couldnt. but was shown the light, or not sure, perhaps the pain and misery that is someone's existence to have created this? and this is the result. govon poetry. my god the internet is a sad and twisted black hole of crap.

See, see the kind sky
Marvel at its big peach depths.
Tell me, megan do you
Wonder why the emu ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel gnnnmpf.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your woolywonkwonk facial growth
That looks like
A mould.
What's more, it knows
Your prude potting shed
Smells of pea.
Everything under the big kind sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm gorgonzolas.

(thanks to debbiedebdeb for the enlightment that prompted this blog- see credit for you here. ha ha)

the wonderful world of spam

why i ask you, do people sit and bother to send this pure kak. i would like some spam, spam, spam eggs, and a side order of spam.
Here the clock struck twice. 'Oh, my God! ' exclaimed Ivan and rose from the divan. ' It's two o'clock and here am I wasting time talking to you! Would you mind--where's the telephone? ' 'Show him the telephone,' the doctor said to the orderlies. As Ivan grasped the receiver the woman quietly asked Ryukhin: 'Is he married? ' 'No, he's a bachelor,' replied Ryukhin, startled.

poet in a terrible voice. Ryukhin shuddered. The woman pressed a button on the desk ; a glittering metal box and a sealed ampoule popped out on to its glass surface. 'Ah, so that's your game, is it? ' said Ivan with a wild, hunted glance around. ' All right then . . . Goodbye!! ' And he threw himself head jogmggtlttrhtttkumtstftmtkttpkthtnup werjwerjewlrkjewrlkjewrjk sdkfjsdlfkjsdfljsdf

and it gets better and better. interesting stuff.

stupidity

i hate my neighbours at the best of times. but last night, while recovering from massive hang over, eating junk food and trying to watch a dvd in bed, they had seemingly endless supplies of fireworks, and would scream with pathetic 'oh-mygod-this-is-so-much-goddam-fun' reactions. it nearly drove me to my new collection of sniper bullets and let off some real fun. like a bullet to the mother fucking braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. sigh. i feel better. as result of mass stupidity and excessive money without any taste i am now tired today. and my dog has had nervous breakdown and shat some kittens as a result of loud bangs and flashy lights. not a pretty site. kiff.

post halloween blues, pre christmas crap

hmm. this year was the first in ages that i havent dressed for halloween. and i even had a bright red curly long hair wig in the waiting. didnt do anything for it actually. didnt even have sweets for the poor dear little trick-or-treaters. had to give them smal plasstic toys in compensation. hell it beats the carrots, apples and five bucks ive got in past years. it kind of scares me that we've barely come through october alive, and the christmas decorations and shopping insanity pressure is up and running in full force. already i feel the stress of what to get people, what plans are, what options are the easiest, less stressful and least likely to make me insane; as so many many christmasses have in the past. theres something about fake cheery relatives all confined in one room with flashy lights and too much booze that affects me in a rather unpleasant way. im sounding bitter without meaning to; i truly love christmas, and have had many fantastic times over that strange festive season, just sometimes it gets too much. this year im hoping for just my immediate family chilling on the farm with nothing to do but eat, drink more, and row in endless circles around the dam complaining about the heat. there's nothing quite like a leaking boat and a drunk brother stranded in the middle of a dam to make you love christmas. what terrifies me about it all, is that it makes me realise just how little of the year is left, just how much work i have to get through before its over, and that oh yes, another year is over, and im still not sure how i got through it, and still feel like its january. its serious knuckle down work time; the aim to finish off my thesis by year end is looking more and more impossible the more the calendar flips past me. we can but try i hear. or hope. ha.