festive season

happiest, happies and merriest merries to all on this wonderful christmas day. sending much love to all far and wide, and hope santa was generous to you, as he certainly wasnt to me. am two bottles of champers, a bottle of white wine, and serveral beers down and loving it. probably will pass out soon but hell its fun none the less. this is the most unchristmas feeling christmas ever but the more pissed i get the more i feel the festive spirit. love to all
xx
that and i was finally a christmas fairy yesterday- was the best day ever- too rad in a pretty fairy dress and a tiara. elevation in the christmas world.

so much of driving

had the longest day in the world today. woke at 5.30 am to be at work at 6 to pick up elf suits to then drive all the way to shit hole richards bay to play elfish there for the small and weird looking kids of richards bay area. on the way home they had blocked off the freeway, so were forced to go the alternative route- us and the other 7 million people driving to durbs for christmas. so that lovely excursion added an whole hour onto our journey, and moved us probably around 10 kms. yay. so all in all my day of driving and elfing was over 12 hours long. needless to say im exhausted and dont want to get into a car for any reason for awhile- well at least until tomorrow. still havent been a fairy, and since tomorrow is my last day of this entertaining liine of work, i fear that my greatest dreams and desires of fairyhood will not be reached. oh well, its a crying shame really.

sorry

im so sorry that i havent been a good blog person but have been busy and life takes over some times. promise to post tomorrow. much of love
xxx

tis the season

ah, another day, another elf costume. im delighted to inform my riveted readers however that sometime this week I will become a fairy! yay! No more lowly elfhood for me anymore. It is still indefinite but how exciting. Work was great today- were at this weird shopping mall in strange suburbia, with very few kids around- we were meant to have a colouring in competition but there were too few kids, so we shared out the sweets during the day and claimed the other two prizes (major packets of sweets) for ourselves. hahaha. The small things in life amuse me these days. Some kids asked me during the day how I got there, and I explained that elves have magical powers, and that Santa helps to give us special powers to fly around the world to make little children everywhere happy. When our shift was over, we packed up and missioned back to the car- the whole time laughing of the kids were to see us, struggling along, having a fag and getting into a car, it may ruin the magic. So much for small imaginations.

Come here little kiddies

had my first experience of Christmas entertainment for children- in shopping malls. I was placed as a friendly, happy elf to overport centre- one cant even call it a mall, as its one of the ugliest, grossest centres around; well there are a few others in durban, but few are out uglied but overport. There I was in my purple elf finery, with face paint (smudged that in the first 5 seconds so looked a little weird for the rest of the day) and had to be happy on 4 hours of sleep and entertain kiddies. It was the best job ever- I'd sell my soul again to go through that. Compared to the hell of waitressing at the wedding yesterday it was rad. I got to totally sit on my ass, colouring in christmas pictures and chatting to kids; something I don't do enough these days! Luckily the guy I was with was entertaining, one of those entertaining joks who are far too happy for their own good, and who go home at night and cry themselves to sleep. I digress and am being mean, I was actually thankful he was there as it allowed me to colour quietly in the corner of the blanket and chat to the cool kids. Needless to say I really don't mind making money this way- the embarrassment factor falls away when there are more than one of you around looking like fools anyway. im the purple elf tomorrow again. But hopefully sometime this week I get to be a princess- was looking in awe while the princesses were getting ready this morning. Being a lowly elf aint that cool when there are tiaras and pretty dresses around. We all need big dreams I suppose. All these benefits and I finished at one, so could proceed to come home and sleep my hot, sunny afternoon away. Awesome. Followed by a happy wake up call beginning with a distant crackle, and "hey puppy"... I could have days like these forever. Except I'd rather have you here. x

this thing called the internet

just saw a post from you around 2 minutes ago- after i just posted the blog- and hate that we seem to miss each other online all the time. and the fucking phone. i hate opening msn these days as just see your lonely name- offline. damn. cant believe you seemed to be there so recently. its like walking into a room, and smelling the certain person's perfume, but not being able to find them anywhere. too sad making. xx

soo tired now.

worked a wedding today- god it was the most unorganised, last minute rush craziness I have been part of for awhile. snarfed up guests, incompetent waitresses who need help with opening wine bottles (yes the cork screw seemed a difficult and tricky instrument) and a bitchy bride. That and my lame scruffy exboyfriend as the photographer- who spent 90% of the time by the bar, and ended up snogging one of the guests- rad, and very entertaining to watch. And all of this without tips and for minimum pay. Oh the fun times of working lame deadend jobs as a student. It also gets better and better- as tomorrow I get to dress up as a Christmas cracker and prance around for small children in shopping malls. Oh my life is too rock and roll- Im worried whether I can handle this hectic pace. Needless to say am over tired now; lack of sleep tends to catch up on one, when one is forced to stand on feet all with a sweet smile making sure the bridal party doesn't end up with cold, lumpy potato soup on their laps. Although that would have been rad. Either that or on the ex's. Ha. The only way to entertain oneself in situations like those is to imagine such delighful happenings. Unfortunately everything went completely according to plan and I was too nice. Damn morals.

tired

had a long day- god I hate Christmas shopping too much to even explain. I haven't done any yet, and am getting really saddened and distressed by the people I speak to who have finished and wrapped and completed a symphony by the time I'm still realizing its Christmas and people need presents from me. God. And next week is going to be madness in the stores- one person was telling me that they've been Christmas shopping for around the last month; every time she went out to shop, she would buy one present for Christmas. My god, that's dedication to the slave god of Christmas shopping. Unfortunately for my family and friends I lack that serious streak of dedication- so they're all getting a hug instead. Better hey. Ha suckers.

God its been a bad day, too much stress and emotion. too many tears. its just strange living a life where you would do anything to be somewhere else. im completely removed from the daily interactions here. just longing and dreaming of snow and bear hugs. makes reality seem very far away.

no comment

was feeling silly. and tired. and bored. so thought i'd had some fun times.

getting lame

so not only do I post shit about my garden on my blog, and spend far too much time playing scrabble with my parents, but today I fear I reached a new level of lameness and signs that im prematurely aging- I watched "tuesdays with morrie", for like the ummmmteenth time. Not only did I watch it again, riveted to the screen, but I cried like a baby, sobbed in fact many times. Almost like the notebook hey. Ha. It was too hot today to move much. Followed by the most cracking storm that seemed to be right over our heads. Was beautiful to watch the lightening over the harbour- reminded me of storms in the burg. Crazy.

too many birthdays

so was jamie's and orlando's birthdays today too. craziness. too many celebrations. and this is coming from a poity animal like me. i even said no to going to burn. i was a good responsible girl and went home early. my god. no to cheap, R2.50 shooters doesnt happen often. i must be getting old. at least im shaven royalty though- makes up for everything else.

morning.

still have no hair. its a strange colour these days, and the blonde is still evident at the back. and the weird wonky, lazy eye makes a come back. its always the same one too. god i look as tired as i felt there. and ever so slightly regal. oi vie.

lock them up, they crazy

happy birthday gwa.
had a braai at his house last night- too much punch and wine went down for my better judgement- it got up and ran away. too bad he missed out all the fun times. the highlight of the evening, the defining moment that showed us in our glory, was when runt poured meths on gwa's hair, and then proceeded to attempt to light it without gwa being aware of any of the activities going on around him. ridiculousness i swear. this is what happens when no one had eaten before drinking for three hours while the braai went out, and had to be relit twice. stranger things have happened, but this evening was particularly amausing.
all in all summer fun.

whining

went for a meander around Hillcrest today- god that place is weird and completely full of stay-at-home mothers with nothing else better to do with their time than to shop and buy little knick-knack crap. I haven't been up that way in a little while, and it seems the neighbourhood has exploded with shopping centres and spars. We went looking for an ATM at one stage- on our way from a quaint heritage market, through to another one- and went into a shopping mall parking lot. After driving around and seeing no ATM signs anywhere, we pushed on further- the weird thing was we went straight into another centre's parking lot, and then another. It was crazy- there were around 5 in a row, with another three directly across the road. And all of them small, single story, "quaint" places, full of small and completely obscure shops and restaurants (like the edelweiss delicacy- huh?). Was really astounded with this weird world that these people have created for themselves- this cant be normal life. To be constantly surrounded by small, ugly and weird shopping complexes, cant make for a normal, healthy upbringing or surroundings. It felt like it does when you go from living in big cities, when driving through the country side and stopping in at a small town shop. That completely out of place, wow this is bizarre and archaic, and look at that strange little man.... Well despite being around like 15 minutes from where I live, this kind of had the same feeling! Very strange. Had great scones and tea however at the rob roy hotel, overlooking the valley of a thousand hills- was late afternoon by then, and kind of cold and misty, which was the perfect time to sit and look out on the brilliantly green hills. was great. also got to totally pig out on the most enormous, completely covered in cream scones. hmmmm.. Still licking my lips with the memory of those beauties.

sigh.

the evening sky last night- was beautiful.

losing my marbles

i was just watching a very slow and boring nature programme while eating my breakfast, and had to laugh to keep myself entertained- its on crocodiles and how they have to keep their body temperature constant in winter, around 18C, otherwise they go into a dormant, sleep state. can you imagine-
"hey bob, how're you doing?"
"good thanks dave, ive just been... aaah 17C..." donk. and out cold. sorry i thought it would be rather funny if we were the same. that or if crocs could talk. god sometimes ive had simply too much coffee and not enough sleep. ha. this calls for another day in the sun by the pool. summer life can be so tedious.

breakfast timing im hungry hippo

i think im officially stupid- and ive just passed the test to prove it. was making myself breakfast, which was oat porridge (for some reason im in love with the stuff lately). it had just come out of the microwave, and i was transferring it into a new bowl- just after pouring it out, there was a small bit on the edge of the plastic, and i went in for the lick- its just automatic habit, a gross one probably i must admit, but its there none the less. so i didnt this without a thought, without even a blink of an eye. despite the fact that a second ago it had been bubbling and boiling in the above mentioned microwave. needless to say i now have a burnt tongue. who knew how well porridge retained its heat.
i fear we have kitchen gremlins too- every time i go to eat stuff, its already been eaten, or is severely reduced. i opened my yoghurt- one of those big tubs- and its the best yoghurt in the world, which i generally eat every day. however this morning its sooo much less than yesterday- and i mean i have a healthy appetite and all, but this is ridiculous. there is simply no ways it was just me, and yet i though i was the only one who ate the stuff. hmm. problems. what if my food starts disappearing before my very eyes- my god i'd fade away. ha. the other problem i found was that i made the porridge in a clear container- one you cant see in the microwave, so as a consequence, i tend to overboil it. you would think after doing this every day i would have a system, or at least learn from my mistakes and chose a different container hey!? hah at least i proved you wrong. so now i have to dance in front of the microwave to see a slight picture of the container and my precious porridge inside. is it a necessary scientific or design detail to have those tiny little holes in the window of the microwave- why cant they be clear? so at least i wouldnt have to dance in front to see anything thats going on inside. although even if the holes were gone i'd probably dance anyway. just for some fun you know. making breakfast can be tedious sometimes.
my porridge is a melting pot of goodness now- it has evolved over the last week or so, and now contains bran flakes, jam, yoghurt, raisons and a multitude of other goodies. mmm that and a luke warm cup of leftover coffee is the best and only way to start off any day...
although we did get a really nice russel hobbs smooooooothie maker yesterday- so i fear i may have already found a replacement for the burning porridge. ooh went out again last night- so please understand and forgive the stupidness of my activities this morning, im hung. but got to dance my pretty ass off to great tunes thanks to my dj friend. hahah. off to the beach on such a pretty day like this- it seems too much of a waste sitting in front of a computer. im not a geek and refuse to be one!

them bastards

so bummed- gave my flat the hugest spring clean yesterday; washed, scrubbed, vacuumed, polished and so on. everything is now sparkling, from the bathroom, to the rugs on my couch, to my clean and fresh new bed spread. i was delighted, but incredibly tired after the mission, as my god there was much to clean and scrub. due to this serious expenditure of energy, i cannot even begin to portray my anger and frustration when i awoke this morning to the runniest gecko poo that had been spread all across the wall right next to my bed. buggers. now theres more scrubbing to be done. fuck and i was hoping to only have to do that again, in like a couple months or so. that and it was serious laundry day today. god im getting well bored of playing domestic. ha realised that i didnt post anything yesterday- its the first day since the beginning that this has happened. huh hope its not a trend. that and i saw baby plant daisy has three new leaves coming through. im such a proud parent.

aaarg

went out last night much to my surprise as earlier in the evening i could have sworn i said "there's no way im going out tonight! not a chance" only a few hours later to find myself on the dancefloor with a cheap vodka in my hand. hmm.. damn aliens and their random kidnapping. the funny thing about last night though, was that it seemed like everyone who i dont like, or who hates me for reasons unbeknown to me, was out- in one room. one sees events like these and wonders about conspiracy stories- do they all phone each other up (group conference call), bitch about me, and then decide lets piss her off completely by all being in the same room as her. needless to say it was an odd evening. particularly since the birthday girl we went to see was crazy mad on pills at burn. hahah. that provided hours of entertainment. despite all the fun and games, i think im going to retire from the party (poity) scene for a while- mainly because god help me if i have to see those people again! so no more going out for a little while. ha watch me makes plans for this evening. too lame.

im awfully fond of you

oh rubber ducky i want a whole pond of you..

sleep never comes to you

"Oust Those Bad Carbs!
Having trouble sticking with your smart-carb eating plan? Maybe it's time to carb-proof your cupboard! Our columnist challenges you to do away with the bad carbs and replace them with healthier choices. The first step: Read the labels and uncover what is really lurking in your kitchen. When in doubt, throw it out!"

...My mum gets this dumb newsletter from an internet diet website called ediets- stupidest thing in the world, as they tell you about how to loose weight in 2 hours and ridiculous grand claims such as these- however today made me laugh as the letter that came was how to carb proof your kitchen. Just reminded me of your mama's warnings- no carbohydrates jon, while munching on some potatoes. heh. I chuckled quietly to myself.

My sleeping patterns are getting worse- im working or watching tv through my natural bed time tiredness, and going to bed later than I should- around 1/2 am is my average, but then attempting to wake at around 9 only to really rise at generally 11. Its terrible as then half the fucking day has gone by, and I get nothing much done- which is a very bad thing as I have lots to do; the report is crying my name loudly now, as it has to be finished by next week and I've barely done anything. Oops. I fear that im going to end up living off sleeping tablets, just so that I get some normal sleep. Ended up watching Dr. No last night- ah that film makes me laugh, just so cheesy its great. That and her name is honey rider- if I ever came back, and reincarnation does exists, I want to come back as honey rider. How rad.

going to last farewell for dav tonight (ha, the last supper?!)- im getting really tired of saying goodbye to friends. it feels like there barely are any left anymore- i think i send more time emailing friends who are awol far away than i do seeing the couple that are left. iiiiiiits ridiculous and i fear is the curse of my generation in a place like SA- no one wants to be here, they want to see the "world" which actually ends up being london! and so everyone ends up far away. and the poor sods who are left behind, suffer in silence, and carry on doing the ordinary, mundane everyday things that we do. im actually just jealous and want to see the real world (been to london, its not worth it, theres definately more to see!) too, but unfortunately have to remain here just a little while longer. fucking thesis. curse the day i chose to do masters. i calm and placate myself by telling myself daily when i look in the mirror that my time will come soon. sniff. feeling sorry for myself is allowed some days.

soldiers come quickly

i still have no hair. shaved it again last week. and think im going to do it again today, carry on just until the blonde is out finally. its also kind of fun.

we are troubled and just the same

its amazing how fast technology runs and changes, and how, these days when it rules our lives, it has become to mean something far more important and personal- that now people will fight to defend their beliefs or understandings: was reading about ideas and opinions on what blogs are on say-so today; incredible how angry or defensive people get about these things- and how divided the arguments become- either you love it and will support its honour to the death or its shit and you hate it completely. how doe the world have to be divided into fucking black and white all the time. who cares whether you have a blog or not, and what it means to you or others- i find it such a strange experience documenting my daily life here, and still dont really believe that other people can read this and comment on my life. i know its incredibly personal, but that is how i live my life, by not expose that- especially when this was created to be a personal insight and document for jon. so yeah it is personal- so many people seem to be angry that blogs are personal- so many people react to dooce's personal comments about her life: who cares! then dont read it, move on. its all crap anyway, so why get weird about it all.

this was the best comment i thought was said about blogs- think its pretty reflective on how i feel:
"[a blog is] whatever you want it to be. Blogs are made up of individual posts that are archived, becoming part of a stream of information. They are usually grouped either by author, date, or subject. The best blogs are those in which individual posts can stand on their own, yet when put together become more than the sum of their parts. The process of publishing online invites a certain amount of interaction with readers. Incoming and outgoing links connect the blog to the rest of the web. This loose format becomes the basis of what is widely accepted as a blog. Blogs evolve over time. Although I started blogging to update family and friends on what was happening in my life, my blog has evolved into something much more. It is a record of my life, serving as a creative outlet for me right now and preserving stories and photos for my children in the future."

strange to think that the crap i write today, is archieved and acts as a record of me and how i am now. huh. god i dont to read this shit later in life- haha at least it'll make me laugh at how silly and ridiculous i am.

gotta love the bears

i just saw the greatest clip on the news- 16 little baby pandas that are being raised in the panda sanctuary in china. wowwee these things were the raddest things ever- just so cool. they were the tiniest most perfect little bears ever. they've had a bumper breeding session this year apparently- the biggest one is around 11 kgs. they were rolling and playing in a room in the clip- like little kids but small balck and white bears- awesome. at least the pandas arent going anywhere any time soon. yaya.

that and no worries all- the daisy is doing well. it has bounced back totally and is happy and frolicking around the garden as we speak. despite the hectic thundering that is going on- looks like massive afternoon storm on its way.

Its only been a week. Not even.

Had an awesome, very chilled out day on midmar dam today- was great: got there around 10.30 am which was nice to catch the whole day of fun in the sun. Just lay in the shade of this rad big tree, playing card games, and drinking beer etc. rad times. Went for a sail on this tiny little kat that dav had hired for the day- was really great being out on the dam; it just reminded me so much of sailing with my dad at hazelmere dam when we were kids. I used to love it, and today just reminded me of that- sitting there in a little cozzy, and an oversized life jacket, obeying instructions on where to sit and when to pull ropes just watching the clouds roll in for the afternoon storm. Such a kid; nothing has changed. The light was beautiful when driving home; both the girls fell asleep in the car, and I had my ipod on loud and just grinning like a Cheshire cat at the great songs I was listening to, and the sun rays peeping through the clouds. The evenings have been just too pretty this weekend- the clouds have been crazy colours (its probably thanks to the rising pollution levels knowing my luck). But its been really beautiful- the summer has certainly started in full, and for the moment its great (small clothes, tans, lots of swimming etc) I know in about a month, it'll be disgusting and sticky, but for now its fun. Especially since I didn't have summer last year.

yeah been a strange, full yet chilled weekend; still don't really know how I'm doing, or how I'm feeling lately, besides the hope that I'm going to be okay. And I need to be selfish now and prioritize what I want to do, and where I want to be (this isn't literally of course) just think I need good time to sort my head out. Which will be good. Slowly but surely. Overall I think I'm smiling. Your eyes must do some raining if you want to grow. You got my back. Thank you stranger. Everything I feel like crying, I'm going to try to laugh. x

that and ate pesto pasta for supper, so am smiling and smelling at the same time; god help anyone I breathe on tomorrow, as every time I burp I nearly pass out, I don't want to know what its going to be like in the morning! Thought that I may have killed, or at least damaged my daisy; nearly had a heart attack this evening when I saw his sad state- only two days without loving attention (I haven't really been here much- this is literally and metaphorically!) and he had wilted and faded to a shadow of his former glory. Don't worry though dearest readers, he has been rescued and is doing well, going from strength to strength, even with a new bud coming through. This had better be true- as all my hopes and dreams are embodied in that same piece of greenery! And its only been a week. oi vie.

gather my pretties

oooooohh. Went shopping and got so many pretties today- for some reason my mother seemed more than willing to purge her wallet and spent copious amounts of money on me. Something that happens rarely these days, and so I was all the more eager to take full advantage. I think we raped woolworths; don't think it felt the same after we left it- dry and barren. I over exaggerate but got nice things- new summer sandals, jacket, shirts (oh yes you read correctly, pural!) and other arb stuff like handbag and undies etc... she did say some of it will have to be for my Christmas presents as there was simply too much stuff to validate it as normal shopping time, but hell im not complaining. As long as I get to use the shit before xmas, I'll be the happiest mouse under the sun! Had a serious bonding day with her- and oddly talked about what we're going to if one of my parents dies. Strange on a beautiful day, out at lunch, to be talking about funeral preparations and so on, but we both felt we wanted the other to know what we want. Odd day all in all. Now im tired from shopping, but beaming in my new stuff- I sound like such a snot, but this happens so rarely that im delighted! Grin! And now im off to booze more and make Thai curry. hmmm life sounds pleasant. Pity that I still have the guilt of having so much work to get through, still calling at the back of my mind! Sigh. One day im told all this shit will be over with. im really good at putting off reality- until it smacks me seriously on the forehead and it hurts. Damn it all.

redrum

so i think im going to eventually commit murder and kill something dead due to the rising frustration that telkom and dial up connections bring to my life- not sure if i'll stay sane while having to use this shit connection to update my blog and send emails. it bounced me off three times while uploading the spinach blog, and took about 14 minutes to upload the two, rather small and lame pictures that i attached with it. aaaaah. god help me and any telkom employees that i encounter. am pushing for adsl for christmas, and am getting some positive feedback, but i distinctly heard some comment the other day from the father figure in my life, that it will have to wait til after new year. god. redrum i tell you. hate of the blasted bastard that is pathetic internet connections and telkom in this country. grrrr.

spinach update number 2

so the plants i fear think that i have failed them- it would be greatly heartening to believe it to be the opposite and that they, the little bastards, have failed me- however I don't think this is possible or fair; they didn't ask to be born into this sad and sickening environment.

besides the vast majority of plants that I think have simply given up living, the others are fighting out the slowest and most painful experience I have ever witnessed- there are the few winners (and I say this with major hesitation and reluctance) that have managed to resemble basically what a spinach plant should look like, to a small degree- in that they have some leaves, and they are plants. hah. From the photographic proof I fear that everyone will deem me to be a total failure- actually I think I might as well go ahead and state, for the record, that I have fundamentally failed to raise my poor little spinach plants to full adulthood, fulfillment, and culinary delight in my salad bowl. Even the winners (ha I cant help smirking at the use of this word) are showing signs of defeat and fatigue, I think the sun is burning them to cinders before my very eyes; their little leaves are becoming browner and more schrivelled daily.at least now, however they are actually standing upright which makes for a change. I fear that the weeds growing alongside them are going to surpass them in growth and health rather soon. Yet, despite all the agony, hardship and pain these small pathetic plants have brought me, each and every time I see them, I simply don't have the heart to get rid of them- this would mean either pulling them and throwing them in the bin, or mushing them back into the earth to provide further compost for some other sorry plant to take their places. This would simply push me over the edge, and is something that I fail to have the heart to do. So, as unfortunate as it is for the plants, me and for you, the reader, they are here to stay for awhile- the lamest, saddest most pathetic plants under the sun are going to be around for a little longer. It is becoming a sad, sad state of affairs- ha and underneath it all I still hold a small flame of hope that they will be able to pull out of this and bloom into beauties- oh the ever present optimist.

however the amusing part of the story, is that despite the burnt edges, the lack of growth, and the total failure of my growing skill, Jon still decided to give me the prettiest little daisy as a present before leaving... allowing me to care for a prettier and healthier plant than my failures (as they will now be known as). Despite this lovely and oh too sweet gesture, I am absolutely terrified that im going to kill this one off too- its almost like its standing in for our relationship now: if the damn daisy lasts and blooms, we'll be okay.. if not, I'm scared of the consequences! Ha. Its kind of rather a lot of pressure to be under for such a small and dainty plant. dammit. I need to find some green fingers. And cant kill the daisy. There's too much at stake- not sure when a small plant was forced to bear this much pressure. Heard that talking to them does help though. Huh...

all this brings about is that I really am not cut out for parenthood. At least with plants, if you fuck up on one, there are a couple others to focus your attention on,and some hope that your luck might change for the better. Despite my failings, the formula is pretty simple for green things- water, sunlight, food and a little basic care. Children, I believe, are ever so slightly more complex.

i loose, badly.

haha been playing scrabble with my parents and drinking all evening.. its great when you've grown up to the stage that you can appreciate your parents and the crazies that they are, and enjoy time with them. that and getting pissed on their account rocks, rather than flattening my bank balance! yeah so this evening all we did was eat, drink (i even made special rounds to woolies to get more booze) and play games- it started with the hell of code breaker, then moved on to the cross word, and ended in neck on neck, challenging scrabble. needless to say, gathering from the title, i lost. much to my dismay and sorrow. but my mother was the reigning champion! damn that women, and her years of english teaching. there should be a forfeit for having major experience with the english language. but despite this she won. fair and somewhat square. god it was funny. pity you were absent to share in the ordinary things- you know, the everyday normal shit. night x

gimme summer

it was such a pretty day today- one of the first real summer time days. lately its been nice and hot weather, but completely shite days for beach time fun and lying sweltering for hours- that as well as the three oclock rain storms, dont work well for the tan. it was just perfect. little bit a breeze, but not enough to blow stuff into your eyes, rather just enough to keep things moving, and to offer a chill off the sun burn. needless to say, what with waking up to this weather perfection of a day, i was incredibly sad and dismayed when the airconditioning people arrived to fix my parents aircon. they were here for around 2 hours, so instead of tanning in very small and ridiculous items of non existant swim wear to change my pigmentation levels, i was forced to stay in doors, drinking tea with my dad and discussing bond rates, and insurance payments.. fun time for the whole family. i was delighted when at 2ish (post sun peak time i might add) the boys rocked up at mine and dragged my sad and pale ass down to the beach. it would have just been slightly rude lying wantonly by the pool with the poor aircon people painting the rust away. at least with an hour on the beach my skin will have maybe altered a hue or two- although with the amount of suncream i put on.. hmm. other than this highlight i didnt do much at all today- took a sleeping tablet to help improve my sleeping patterns last night, only to get to sleep at around 1 and still woke up at about 11am.. things are getting dire here- how on earth am i going to be able to be productive and normal ever? huh, working hours are a thing of the past for me now. oh going to midmar tomorrow- its dav's farewell weekend, so we're all going to stay the night: will post stories and misadventures when get back on sunday. hope its going to be fun times.
that and its snowing again in bozeman at -12.. perhaps i shouldnt talk about the sunshining weather anymore?

badger, badger, badger.. SNAKE!, want to kill a SNAKE!

i saw a snake in my garden today- it was quite a long green one, that was just chilling on the piles outside the back door. i feared that today would be the one day that i didnt have the camera around, but luckily it was there.. ran out and took some snaps before the little bugger had a chance to run screaming away from me. he did run pretty fast, as you can see by the pictures. what do snakes do- its not run.. slide, glide, snake? huh.

anyway it was world aids day today- international recognition and realisation of this serious and dire problem, and to find possible future paths and solutions. i heard yesterday that 40% of women in south africa, between 15 and 24 years old are HIV positive: that means there are four women infected out of every ten in my exact age bracket. this on top of the stat that one in three tertiary students in this country are positive. jesus christ- and this evening on the news, what do we see, but our beloved health minister standing at an Aids rally here in durbs, saying that things would be okay if only more people would eat lemons, olive oil, and veggies such as carrots. are you kidding me. this is going to be the solution to the millions that are now infected in this country. because i know for sure that people who earn around R10 a week can afford basic necessities such as olive oil and good nutrition basics. this is important, but clearly cannot happen with the rampant poverty and disadvantage we have here- surely we need more drastic interventions and serious medical support to alter this, not some carrots. days like these make me so incredibly angry- its such a fake, false meaningless show, an absolute farce. wear some pretty red ribbons today and everything will be okay. who are they kidding, and why do they persist to wear such thick and ridiculous blinkers. i hate it. as nothing will change if we carry on in this way. my mother, who works for government, which is pretending to mainstream HIV into all spheres and aspects of its work- and not one person mentioned world aids day, not one besides my mother wore a red ribbon- the only time it has been mentioned of late, is because its a prerequisite from national that it must be part of each project; "because we have to".... what possible way is there to improve this most ridiculous depressing situation. very serious topic, but again days like these just piss me off now. just makes me tired and frustrated that people are so ignorant, and blindingly stupid.

at least the snake was cool. and i ate too much for supper. watching a very long engagement with my mum again- she's sad i returned north and south to you, so i had to placate her with this. so sad. again. sniff.

zzzzz...

ive totally fucked up my sleeping patterns these days; after so many nights of so little sleep missioning around with jon, im in this state of permanent exhaustion. its like a zombie state; im totally numb, and just kinda of getting through the day (what little of it im awake for). cant seem to attempt falling asleep until around 2ish am.. only then to awake at roughly around 11... but still feeling rediculously rubbish and tired. think it isnt helped by the madness of busy, neverending dreams ive been having- seem to be telling me a story im not yet sure of at all.
it is rather funny though- i cant seem to stand upright for very long. came downstairs to eat breakfast this morning, well technically lunchtime, but whose counting, and seriously struggled to get through the making proceedure just becuase i didnt feel like standing anymore- had this seriously strong physical desire to lie down. think this is getting dire. cant go through life lying down all the time, can one?
it did make me feel incredibly bovine though: walking slowly and steadily through the house, pottering and fucking around, while munching on some lettuce leaves. just kept thinking mooo, moooo. god. im turning in a cow. things arent working in my favour.

round one

I did try to warn you that klm may be rather lame, and outdated airline- remember me saying:

"yeah when I went on them, they only that those little communal tvs in the aisle..."

Jon: "what like 50 years ago.. No meg, im sure they've got new planes by now, really. no one has those anymore..."

Hah. I win. They do suck. And havent changed their planes. At least there was good food.